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Eyes, moon, novel
Nov. 9th, 2003 08:21 pmI see the moon through the leaning pine trees and bits of cloud, walking to the apartment from the garage (having just come home from seeing Matrix Revoloutions), and for a moment it looks the way that it used to, the way that I'm used to seeing it. For a moment I can forget that there are differences now, that everything is different now. For a moment I can forget the eyes and the pain and just be comforted by the famillar.
I see spectral highlights in the dark now, little streaks of light going off of everything- streetlights, stoplights, bright signs and car head and tail lights. I'm not sure if it's fading or if I'm just getting used to it. I hope like hell it's going away. I would like to be able to look at the moon without having to be reminded every single second of what was done to me with the damned lasers, what had to be done to stop the glaucoma. Oh, sure, I could have stayed on the drops the rest of my life, but there was no gaurentee they would work forever, adn then we'd be back where we started from.
I hope it fades. I just hope it fades. I'm a pagan for gods' sakes- lapsing the way I seem to be lapsing on everything lately, but I am. And it would be nice to see the moon...and the moon. You know?
Movie was strange; will review it later, maybe. Tired now.
NaNoWri is going well, or at least better. Latest word count is 12026. Progress. I had some plotting problems, having to get from A to C with no clear ideas on B, but I talked a bunch of stuff out with Mom, emailed a bit to Lindsay, and between the two of them I think I've found my way clear of things again.
I'm almost starting to think, oddly enough, that I can do this. Write a novel, have it done or close by the end of the month... I'm starting to think maybe I really can.
I see spectral highlights in the dark now, little streaks of light going off of everything- streetlights, stoplights, bright signs and car head and tail lights. I'm not sure if it's fading or if I'm just getting used to it. I hope like hell it's going away. I would like to be able to look at the moon without having to be reminded every single second of what was done to me with the damned lasers, what had to be done to stop the glaucoma. Oh, sure, I could have stayed on the drops the rest of my life, but there was no gaurentee they would work forever, adn then we'd be back where we started from.
I hope it fades. I just hope it fades. I'm a pagan for gods' sakes- lapsing the way I seem to be lapsing on everything lately, but I am. And it would be nice to see the moon...and the moon. You know?
Movie was strange; will review it later, maybe. Tired now.
NaNoWri is going well, or at least better. Latest word count is 12026. Progress. I had some plotting problems, having to get from A to C with no clear ideas on B, but I talked a bunch of stuff out with Mom, emailed a bit to Lindsay, and between the two of them I think I've found my way clear of things again.
I'm almost starting to think, oddly enough, that I can do this. Write a novel, have it done or close by the end of the month... I'm starting to think maybe I really can.
