![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urbandruidI struggle at the line between what I am and what I'm not, and my eyes have that half-tranced sort of feel they get when I've been working too long on one thing. I just spent the past two hours taking screencaps with the digital camera- cramp finally went out of my hand a few minutes ago- fast forwarding and rewinding and pausing the damn seaQuest tape, advancing it frame by frame, snapping away... Forgetting that I have closed caption come on automatically when I hit the mute button, so I've got some good caps with text I'll have to edit it- it's always somebody else's lines, or just bad lines- ah, how much I'd forgotten. The paradoxal dichotomy of loving this, and being embarrased by it. I always thought I could do it better, but that the raw material was there to make...something.
I'm still not done, either; I've still got to go through them all, toss the ones that aren't worth fixing, crop out incidental crap like the sides of the TV, try and sharpen up some of the marginal ones... Plus editing the old ones for size (they're a bit blurry for desktop wallpaper, though about the right size...)
Typical lack of priorities. I have a biology test on Friday, and a lab practical exam a week from tomorrow. But it's not like I won't study; I just need a break. Not being driven out of my mind by crazy relations and my equally crazy Camarilla friends would be good, too, but I'll take what I can get.
Everybody means well, but good intentions are not a get-out-of-jail-free card.
I make lists of things I want to do, but then I ignore them, because suddenly they feel like work. I don't want to stress about what's supposed to be fun, you know? This is exactly what happened to me wth the Cam, finding myself caught up in the work until it's not fun anymore. If it weren't for my friends and the fact that they are my friends, I'd throw in the towel and the character sheets, give up LARP. I'm just too tired, and I have too many other things to worry about, too many other things to do with my spare time when I've got it.
I always take the thankless jobs because I'm nice. Well, you know what? I don't feel like being very nice these days.
Every time I think about this stuff, I just get pissed off. Part of it is that I'm having a Monday, but the rest- argh!
And as if I weren't having a fun enough time of it here, I've just discovered that we're nearly out of decaf soda. As in, there's one can in the fridge, and that's it. Oh yes, and we're broke.
Hmm. Perhaps I should go work on the Mac; I may end up putting my fist through the bloody thing, but at least it'll be done with, and I can honestly tell my mother that I was temporarily insane.
I'm still not done, either; I've still got to go through them all, toss the ones that aren't worth fixing, crop out incidental crap like the sides of the TV, try and sharpen up some of the marginal ones... Plus editing the old ones for size (they're a bit blurry for desktop wallpaper, though about the right size...)
Typical lack of priorities. I have a biology test on Friday, and a lab practical exam a week from tomorrow. But it's not like I won't study; I just need a break. Not being driven out of my mind by crazy relations and my equally crazy Camarilla friends would be good, too, but I'll take what I can get.
Everybody means well, but good intentions are not a get-out-of-jail-free card.
I make lists of things I want to do, but then I ignore them, because suddenly they feel like work. I don't want to stress about what's supposed to be fun, you know? This is exactly what happened to me wth the Cam, finding myself caught up in the work until it's not fun anymore. If it weren't for my friends and the fact that they are my friends, I'd throw in the towel and the character sheets, give up LARP. I'm just too tired, and I have too many other things to worry about, too many other things to do with my spare time when I've got it.
I always take the thankless jobs because I'm nice. Well, you know what? I don't feel like being very nice these days.
Every time I think about this stuff, I just get pissed off. Part of it is that I'm having a Monday, but the rest- argh!
And as if I weren't having a fun enough time of it here, I've just discovered that we're nearly out of decaf soda. As in, there's one can in the fridge, and that's it. Oh yes, and we're broke.
Hmm. Perhaps I should go work on the Mac; I may end up putting my fist through the bloody thing, but at least it'll be done with, and I can honestly tell my mother that I was temporarily insane.
