It's annual eye exam time. (yay.)

So today is my annual eye exam. I only made the appointment Tuesday, and I figured that wouldn't give me enough time to stress about it.

Hah!

I think, for me, any amount of time is enough to stress. It's not that I think anything is really wrong- yeah, I know I said that last year, too- it's just the irrational fear that comes with having to do this every year, when you're me.

I've had an eye doctor since I was two days old. And even though I know this is where all my medical stress in general comes from, even though I understand it so clearly when I'm sitting in my GP's waiting room and wigging out even though I just need to chat about my asthma or other meds, I tend to forget that this is where it came from. That this is the root of my medical trauma.

It's not that I think my doc will find anything wrong. It's the fact that if he does find anything, it's pretty much guaranteed to be bad. And when all you basically have is vision in one eye, 'bad' can be kind of epic.

So I'm feeling nervous, and freaking out a bit, and trying not to do either. It'll be fine. It's always fine. (Except when it isn't.)

And, note to self for future reference: Re-reading the journal full of ophthalmological horror stories? Not the best way to chillax. Really. That thing you wanted to look up? Look it up, y'know, later.

Anyway. I think I'll go find a book to read or something.

More later, unless I get dilated, in which case I'll be zoned out in front of the TV until my vision stops being all blurry.