Fixed!

Don't ask me why, but when I got up this morning and plugged the 'pod back in, it decided to reboot itself and reload the factory settings. I lost my playlists when I deleted the !@#$ed up software update, but I saved all the music by tossing it in my writing folder, for I am sneaky and there is a LOT of stuff. So now I just have to redo the playlists and have the thing upload all the songs again, and I'm back in business.

Apple is still getting an email, though, just not as rude as the one I posted here last night. Thanks to everybody who listened to me whine about it. :)