of all the things I never asked for...

Dreams scared me awake this morning; a grey tabby cat like the one I used to have leapt at me, hissing and clawing. Not as weird as the last one, which involved people chasing a rat through a high school I've never been to or even seen, but still pretty strange.

I don't really care about the dreams, though. It just seemed a good place to start.

I'm having trouble seeing things. There's this cloudy film over my eye, like I sometimes get from allergies or sleeping, only it won't go away. Can't blink it out, can't wash it out. I first noticed it yesterday afternoon, but it's getting worse. It was worse when I got up this morning. I tried to ignore it, but when I couldn't, I called my mother. Who called the eye doctor's office, and got me an appointment. I could've called them myself, but even if I could drive, I couldn't do it today, so I figured I'd start with her, let her handle things. I was a little busy trying not to freak out.

My inner eye pressure was up a bit when I last went in for a post-op check. Doc said he wanted to see me in a month, with the glaucoma guy, but that was only a week or so ago. I can't wait three weeks with this, not if it's doing what I think it's doing. See, I don't want glaucoma. And I have this terrible feeling that's what's starting up now. They can fix it, probably, if that's what it is- a little laser procedure to give the pressure a place to go. But I don't want another eye procedure. I'm tired of them. Plus I don't know how it'll affect my vision, and I've got class tomorrow which I cannot miss...

But I really really don't want glaucoma. Or whatever the fuck this is. So whatever they have to do to stop it... I guess I'm on board.

I just- didn't want to be, you know? I wanted to be normal for a while longer. I guess I can't, though. I guess I forgot that no matter what happens I'm never going to be normal, not when it comes to things like this.

Thinking of redoing the journal with a Babylon 5 theme of some kind. Not that I can see what I'm designing, you understand...

New icon is B5's Bester, and don't ask me what the quote means. Right now I don't know. Depressing Evaescence lyrics, and right now it seems to fit. Him, and me in general for the melencholyness of it all.

Okay, so I did explain it, after all.

Please, Goddess, give me a break. I really don't need this right now.