urbandruid: (Galen)
I'm sorry this is going to be so scattered and all over the place, but that's just the way it is. I haven't written for too long, and there's too much going on.

Practically all semester (since the end of August, anyway) I've been doing exactly what the doctors told me to do, and trying really hard not to do what I was told not to do. I've been taking it easy on the typing and especially on the writing things out longhand. I've tried to moderate my computer use, and people who know me know that that's a lot to ask.

And honestly? At the risk of fucking my hand up even more, I just- I can't do it anymore. I'm done. I'm tired and I'm stressed, it's two in the morning and I'm not sleeping, and I need this. I need to write. Need to do something.

Because, really? Behaving myself isn't helping as much as you might think. Long story short- I smacked the hell out of my right wrist in late August. I figured I'd broken it, hairline fracture or something. As if any of my medical problems could be that normal. Nope. It turned out to have aggravated something I've probably had for a long time, called a ganglion cyst. Which after taking a while to figure out what it was, the nice doc at the school health center stabbed a needle into and drained in October. And we figured, okay, the hand situation will get better now, right? The swelling will go down and the pain will go away, and it'll just- not be such a pain in the ass. Yeah. Didn't happen. Instead the swelling got worse, two fingers and my thumb started to go numb.

And I started to drop stuff. Just- sitting there and watching it go, like someone else had dropped it. Except it was me. Because suddenly I have no control over my own body, or at least my right hand.

So, now I have a new specialist for my collection. Orthopedist #2. Ortho #1 does knees and shoulders, I needed a hand specialist. So. I saw him... like a month ago, I think? Got myself scheduled for an (yet another) MRI and a nerve conduction test, because in addition to Return of the Cyst from Hell, he thinks I have carpal tunnel. Too.

So, Chris, you ask, do you have carpal tunnel? No clue. Because I don't see the doc again until the 4th of December. Yeah. So I have two weeks from this past Tuesday to go. Hanging out with my falling-apart brace from the student health center at school, hoarding the painkillers the doc there gave me for the really bad days.

Wondering if I'm going to need one hand surgery, or two. The number of surgeries I actually want? Zero.

And on top of it, one of the main ways I calm myself down, one of the main ways I keep myself together and just cope with things... is writing. Which I'm supposed to do as little of as possible. Which, yeah, I've been trying. And I just can't do it anymore. I'm typing with my brace on now, and it's slower than I'm used to, and I'm making more mistakes, but at least I'm getting some of this out. Other than talking to my new therapist, or my best friend at school, and my mom, I haven't been able to get a lot of it out. And there's a limit to how much shit I feel like I can dump on my friend L and my mom.

It's been a long semester, my first at real college. And the second or third week this happens, the start of the hand saga, and things have been insane ever since. I got to have someone else take my notes for a month when we thought the hand was broken, but after that- with nobody being able to say for sure what was wrong yet, there was no doctor to sign the Disabled Students form. Nobody to say, let's take a little pressure off this woman, let's make her do a few less things with the hand of doom. I have the form, which I'll make the ortho do something with when I see him in December. But right now I'm stuck doing everything. The only saving grace is that in the one class where I really have to take notes, he uses PowerPoint, and puts the slides online for us to print out. So I only have to write down everything that isn't on the slides.

Still, on the days when the hand is really bad, you can't imagine how much it hurts to write. How much it hurts to fill in the little bubbles on Scrantons for my tests. And thank GOD there are no essay questions.

My psych prof has us doing 'mind maps', these drawings to illustrate the concepts from our reading in our two textbooks. You ever try to draw with (probable) carpal tunnel and a cyst on your wrist? It's a bitch.

The whole thing is a bitch, to be perfectly honest. I'm unbelievably tired of all of it. I am finally, finally on break for Thanksgiving. I've only been looking forward to this for months, because dragging your ass through six units of upper division classes and learning your way around a new college is enough fun without the stress of constant, chronic pain. And the stress of the whole unknown 'what the hell is wrong with me this time and what are they going to have to do to me to fix it?'

But at least I've got some time now, and I'm going to try to do some fun stuff with that time. I've discovered I can't just not write, so I'm going to try typing in moderation (she says, working on this huge journal post, but whatever) and see how that goes. I've gotta do something, you know?
urbandruid: (Vader / Sith Happens (niicoly))
None of my icons are really grumpy or sarcastic enough for how I feel right now. Guess I should do something about that at some point. (Note to self: dump some of the BSG crap and upload a Snape icon or ten.)

Anyway.

So I was right about why my knee feels even more like crap than usual. Stupid temp. One of the regular people was back yesterday, and when I told her where the temp had put the electrodes- right on my bad knee, not on the muscles around it- she freaked out a bit. Yeah, I'd thought that was the problem, too. We also figured out why it didn't bother me right away- because we use heat or ice with the E-stim, and the knee had already been bugging me that day, so when the temp gave me a choice, I asked for ice. (If the PT had been there, I wouldn't have gotten to make that call- oh wait, the temp wouldn't have been around to screw up if he'd been there. Never mind.)

I'm so pissed about this I can't even tell you. The last thing I needed was another setback, especially when I'm starting back to school so soon. (Which, yeah, I'm trying not to think about yet, but still.) I'm going into my last semester at City (thank Gods!) and in order to graduate in May I need to be able to get through one more PE class, Dance Conditioning. I also, for the sake of my sanity, really need to be able to get back to ballet. I'm pissed enough that if not for the knee my teacher would've moved me up a level, but having to sit out most of the semester, he didn't think I was ready. I can't argue- I'm not ready. But I could've been, and that's what burns.

It's not that I'm a brilliant dancer, but I've been taking class for a year now, and I'm getting a lot better. And it's become a great stress relief, a great way to get away from everything else for a while. I've had a harder time dealing, without it, and it seems like things have only gotten crazier since I hurt my knee. I guess that's just my luck, that I need it more when I'm less able to do it.

I need to have a long chat with my PT about the ballet class and the dance conditioning one, which I'd hoped to be able to do this week, but he's still on vacation. Apparently everybody else is going to take Friday off, too, because I was supposed to have my second appointment of the week then, but they made me reschedule. Not happy. Also not happy that my new appointment is next Thursday. The idea of taking basically a week off from PT does not thrill me. Sure, I need to let my knee calm down a little, and I've got exercises to do at home (a lot of exercises, to be honest with you) but there's stuff I do at PT that I can't do at home.

I'm actually almost tempted to call my grandmother and ask her if I can use the gym at her place, since they've got a treadmill and an exercise bike, and I sure as hell don't. Maybe this weekend, since we'll be over there anyway for New Years' stuff... But the idea that I'm worried enough about my knee to be willing to put up with Grandma... Yeah, that frightens me a little.

In other news, I'm going out today with a friend. Yeah, nobody faint. We met in the hell that was Behavioral Stats, survived it together, and are looking forward to slogging through Health 1 this coming semester. I figure we can keep each other awake. Anyway, we're going out to lunch, and then, honestly, I dunno what we're gonna do. I'm so bored I'm about to go stir crazy, so I really don't care what we do.

Even if we spend all day watching DVDs at her place. I won't be stuck at my house.
urbandruid: (Jaina / Invisible Girl)
I don't know whether to scream or cry at this point. The way things are going, I'd better not cry.

I went to the eye doctor last week for my annual checkup. Everything was fine.

Yesterday afternoon my left eye, the one I have very little vision in, started hurting. I checked it out in the mirror, and the eyelid looked kind of red and puffy, so I put some basic rewetting drops in. Didn't help. Started putting hot compresses on it this morning, which didn't help much either. Now my eyelid's red, swollen, and painful. I can't tell if it's affecting my vision any, because I can pretty much only see out of the corner of that eye.

I'm pretty sure I know what this is. I had something similar back in the 90's, only it was much worse because it was in my good eye. So this scares me a little bit less than that did, but I'm still not having a great time.

I was laying on the couch this morning with a heat pack over my face for almost an hour before I decided enough was enough, and called the eye doctor. I hate to do it, because I was just there, but this is not going to go away on its own, and the pain is starting to really make me cranky.

Thankfully it was almost lunch when I called the doc's office, and the phone rang so many times in the front office that I think they finally had to pick it up in the back. This would explain why the person I talked to seemed to have it together anyway.

Really though, this is why I love my eye doctor's office. "What's your name and date of birth? And what's going on?" Pause. "Can you come in this afternoon?"

Yes, I can.

So, you know where I'll be at 3:15. And it's not that I don't want to go, it's just that I don't want to have to go.
urbandruid: (I Can Kill You With My Brain)
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I actually had a fairly good morning, but this afternoon is turning into One Of Those Days.

I got on the bus to come home, and there was a guy getting off the bus while I was trying to get on. So, no problem, I move over, say "sorry, excuse me," to the guy. He's like, "It's cool."

The driver then says to me something like, "In a hurry to get on the bus, huh? You have to wait, check if anyone's getting off first." Sorta grumpy.

Me: "I'm sorry, I didn't see him." Not even that pissed off. Yet.

Him: "Well, you have to LOOK."

Me: *deathglare* thinking, too pissed to speak, "Asshole, I'm visually impaired.

Next: 30 minutes of me fuming about this, trying and failing to calm down. I decide I'm going to make the driver regret this. Get out my cane, unfold it, make sure he sees it.

I start to get up before the bus is fully stopped. I often do this and I'm fine. I made a grab for one of the poles, thinking I'd just slide to a stop and laugh it off.

I either missed the pole or there wasn't one there. Fell forward onto bus seats. Hit my leg, hip, etc, on seat dividers, hit my jaw, I think, on the bottom edge of the bus seat.

Me: "Shit!"

Other guys getting off bus: "Hey, are you okay?"

Me: "Yeah, yeah."

Driver: Says NOTHING.

Me: Get to door of bus, unfolding cane. Finish unfolding cane, smack the end onto the top of bus steps to make sure it's settled. Smack a bit harder than necessary. Glare at bus driver.

Bus driver: Will NOT look me in the eye, in fact looks AWAY.

Me: Get off bus and walk home.

So now I'm home and I'm still kind of fuming. It's partially my fault, maybe entirely my fault, for getting pissed off and letting that distract me, so that I fell. But there's no excuse for the rudeness from the driver, and no excuse for him not seeing if I was okay.

ARGH!

So, I'm gonna go sit on an ice pack for a while, and see if my face is swelling. I hope to hell NOT, because I still have to go to the bloody eye doctor today.
urbandruid: (Default)
So, I have my first physical therapy appointment today. I'm not looking forward to it, obviously, but it's more than that. I can't shake the feeling that it's not going to work. I'd love to be wrong, but I don't think I am. If it was just tendinitis, I think the anti-inflammatories would be doing more for it than they are. I think we wouldn't still see so much inflamation on the MRI and the x-rays. I think it wouldn't be locking up on me and hurting like HELL in 3D. I think maybe I'd be able to wash my hair or brush it or do other kinds of reaching things without it locking up or the pain getting so bad I have to stop whatever I'm doing.

And I'm kicking myself for not telling the ortho guy my doc sent me to, about the locking up, or the occasional inability to brush or dry my hair. Or the fact that sometimes it's impossible to write, and once I had to do it anyway to answer an essay question on a history test, and every fucking letter was torture.

I'm mentioning it to the PT, that's for sure, but I feel stupid for not telling the doctor. Usually I write stuff down, especially when I'm seeing a new doc, but it was finals week, the day of my history final, and I was just... not at my best, let's put it that way.

I just think, from everything I've read, that that kind of weakness and especially the locking up, is a sign of an injury, not tendinitis. I'm afraid it's gonna make a huge difference in diagnosing what's wrong with it, and I fucked up. I don't see the doctor for 6 weeks or so, though it may be sooner if this really doesn't work.

I have these nightmare visions of my arm swelling up like a party balloon, you know? And, not so incidentally, hurting like hell.

Speaking of which, the shoulder would like its morning dose of painkillers, NOW. I need to jump in the shower anyway, and get ready to go. The hot water usually helps. Except it'll lock up at least once... maybe again when I'm trying to hold up the blow dryer...

If I have to ask Mom to help me dry my freaking hair, I will cry.
urbandruid: (River)
Gah. Like I was just telling [livejournal.com profile] ashkitty, I'm not in a good headspace lately. Am also in pain, which makes me bitchy. My shoulder's been killing me all day, and a little after I took something for that, I started to get a migraine. Which has proceeded to get worse and worse all freaking day. So I took the other half of the pain pill I took earlier. The doc didn't give me anything but anti-inflmmatories (semi-useless) for my shoulder, so I've been popping left over pain meds from my kidney stone adventures. Which I am just about out of now.

So. Called the doc's office today and talked to one of the nurses who knows me, about asking the NP for some real pain meds. NP is out today, naturally, but she said she'd talk to the MD. She said she should get back to me this afternoon, tomorrow at the latest, but with it being the first Monday after a holiday weekend... Mom's stopping at the pharmacy we use on her way home anyway, so I'm hoping the doc's office had time to call something in, but either didn't have time to call me back yet, or the pharmacy told them I have refills there, so one of us will be in today anyway... This is probably a far-fetched hope, but I'm hanging onto it, coasting along on my second-to-last Vicodin.

Please, gods, please, let there be something. I can put up with a lot, but this pain is just wearing me down. I'm not even the same person when I hurt this much. I also can't get much of anything done.

I keep wanting to- intending to- go on YIM, which is where I think my pals like [livejournal.com profile] leviathanmuse, [livejournal.com profile] g_shadowslayer, and [livejournal.com profile] irreparable hang out. And then I realize that I'm exhausted, and I just hurt too damned much, and that after not chatting with my friends for a while, dumping "evil, pain-suffering, bitchy [livejournal.com profile] urbandruid" on them is not fair. Or nice.

Would you guys mind stoned druid, though? 'Cause I think that's what we're looking at for a while here.

This year has just been insane, and just when it seems like things might calm down, something else crops up. Either I'm having medical issues, or someone else in the family is, or there's other stress-y stuff going on, and I just... Gah. I need a break.

Between the days I don't have classes and the holiday, I had a week straight off of school. It was great. And I'm dreading going back. More than the usual complaints I make all the time about not wanting to go back, I'm... worried about going back. Because school = more stress. As always. And this shit with my shoulder is wearing on me mentally. I'm starting to wonder how much more of this I can take.

Then I break down and sob for a while, and after a bit I feel slightly more able to cope with things.

I've thought about calling my shrink, but honestly, what's she gonna tell me? I'm stressed and that's making my depression worse, I'm hurting a lot and that isn't helping the depression or my mood in general? I'm worrying about everything, even stuff that isn't actually mine, because this is what I do? She can't tell me anything I don't already know. Plus, I haven't seen her in at least a year; updating her on everything would take a couple sessions, and right now I don't have time in my schedule for that.

And these may or may not all be excuses for not going in to see her, but... I probably will call her if I end up needing surgery for my shoulder, because that one, I'm gonna need some help coping with.

Oh yeah, and I have homework. World War II map assignment for history that's due tomorrow, and possibly a test in my psych class. Should probably check my syllabus re: the exam and see. Not that I'm worried about it. We've been covering the psych disorders this unit. *yawn*
urbandruid: (Vader / Sith Happens (niicoly))
Well, today's going to be fun, in the sense of not really.

So my doc thought I just had really bad tendinitis in my right shoulder. Turns out... maybe not. I got one shot back in October, in a place I don't really wanna talk about, which seemed to do wonders for a while there. Then the swelling and the pain started creeping back up... and this is with prescription-strength anti-inflammatory drugs twice a day. So I went back to the doc in early November. Got another shot, which didn't seem to do nearly as much for me as the last one did... and got scheduled for an MRI.

Which I tried to do last week. Only, it turns out? I'm not just slightly claustrophobic, I'm really claustrophobic. So I'm going back today, they're giving me some kind of conscious sedation (I'd prefer unconscious, actually...) and we're gonna try again.

They said I could take my pills in the morning with small sips of water, but what I really need to take my pills (anti-inflammatories included) is food. Which I can't have for six hours before my appointment.

No food, no pills, nothing to drink- and I'm not really all that hungry, but I'm really thirsty. Bringing a bottle of water to have when I get out of there, but it's sure no fun right now.

Oh yeah, and I'm 1.) still scared to death of the MRI machine of doom, and 2.) even more scared that my doc's right, I've torn my rotator cuff, and I might need surgery to fix it.

If I never need another surgery in my LIFE it will be too soon.
urbandruid: (I Can Kill You With My Brain)
Yeah, I'm still alive. Exhausted, but trying to hang in there. If I could sleep more I'd probably be doing better. Saw my new specialist last week, and am going back next week. If I still feel like Queen of the Kidney Stones I get a CT scan. If not, I get bloodwork and stuff to maybe *gasp!* find out why I keep getting these things, the better to try and prevent them.

Just for that, I like this guy. I mean, I love my NP, but everyone I've ever seen before for the kidney stones has been like 'oh well, you passed it, that's that then, carry on.' Which drives me nuts, because I'm still not normal!

I had to give up coffee, tea, and my Pepsi entirely. I drink water, diet Sprite, lemonade, and juice. I have half a glass of Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, sometimes less, and the kidneys start singing that same old song. "Hey, remember us? You shouldn't have done that." *poke, poke* Strangely I seem to be okay with Starbuck's, but that may have something to do with the fact that usually when I was at Starbuck's I was hanging out for a bit, and rather than be bouncing off the walls I'd drink one mocha, and follow it with the biggest pomegranate frappichino they make. Not even sure if they still have those, but I loved them, and so did my kidneys.

And, you know, I'd sure as hell love to know what caused all this, why one day I was as normal as I've ever been, and the next, 'Boom! No more caffeine for you!"

So we'll see where that goes.

I had a lot of pain yesterday, but I'm better today, so at this point I'm chalking it up to sleeping too much and drinking too little over the weekend. (And we all cross our fingers, because I don't want to have to call the doctor and move up my appointment. Bleh.)

I guess I'm doing alright, though. I've only had to cut one class, last Monday's Oceanography lecture. I felt really bad about it, but it just wasn't happening. I went back to bed around 8:00, and slept clear through my noon class time, so that was probably a good move.

Had a Spanish test on Thursday which he hands back today- I think I probably didn't do so well, but the way he weights stuff, I really don't care. Too much else going on anyway.

Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't been around more. It's just too much effort a lot of times to go online and try to keep up. I don't mean to worry people, though, and I'm sorry if I have.

And now, off to another fun day of dragging my ass through 2 hours of Spanish II. Whee... Adios!
urbandruid: (Vader / Sith Happens (niicoly))
Ugh...

Okay, to make a long story short:

1.) Have kidney stones. Plural. Not sure I want to know how many exactly, but it's been pretty miserable.

2.) It's too fucking hot, making the kidney stone thing even worse.

3.) I have an appointment with a specialist on the 10th, which I'm really nervous about.

4.) DSL is down, because apparently the phone company thought this would be a good time to mess with me. Yeah. I thought it was just the modem, but the ISP guys say it's the line, and I'm inclined to believe them.

5.) Mom goes to see a podietrist today for this foot thing she's got. We think we know what it is, and it could be kind of bad.

So, yeah. That's where we are. Somebody hug me?
urbandruid: (Default)
To make a long story short-

Probably have kidney stones. Or had. Am waiting for ultrasound results to come back, and have an appointment with a specialist for the 18th. Am going to move that to next week if I can. I love referrals. "Here's your appointment. They just flipped open their schedule, closed their eyes, and pointed at a date. And picked the time out of- well, you get the idea." I think they want me to be there halfway through my Spanish class anyway.

It's too fucking hot, and I have to take the bus home in the afternoons. I'd love to be able to just stay home, drink my own weight in water, and sleep, but I can't miss my classes.

This couldn't have happened over my break why?

Only good news is I'm not in anywhere near as much pain as I was last week, which is what makes me think I've passed all or most of 'em. I still feel like crap, though, so...

If anybody's been wondering where I disappeared to... there you go.
urbandruid: (Ravenclaw)
Ugh... So today's the first day of class. Oh, joy.

It's going to be 94 F, which is a downgrade from the 97 they were predicting last night.

This still sucks.

It sucks even more because I spent the last 2 weeks fighting a kidney infection, the last 10 days or so on major antibiotics, and I still feel like total crap and am hurting in places I shouldn't. I'm going back to the doc on Thursday, unrelated mole removal, and I'm debating if the kidney stuff can wait till then.

Since I spent all weekend popping the painkillers said doc gave me for the infection, and need to take more after I eat breakfast, I'm thinking it probably can't wait. Will call her after I get home from (whee, yay) class.

I don't have class till noon, which'll give me time to fight the bookstore lines and go get my new student ID/library card, if I decide I'm up for that today. And I only have to buy one book, for Oceanography, since we use the same Spanish book for Spanish II as we did for I (Thank you, Professor M!)

I keep trying to console myself about the back to school thing with all the good stuff about school- access to our library, whose nonfic section rocks; no freshmen in my classes; two profs who are really good and whom I like; and, well, I was getting a little bored anyway.

On the flip side we have: State U cut their fall enrollment again, and we know what that means- Freshman Menace, redux; the heat; the fact I feel like crap.

Oh yeah, and I'm exhausted, because I've been staying up later than I should have to watch the Olympic finals in stuff like gymnastics and swimming. (No love to NBC for intentionally putting the best stuff on dead last. And I'm still pissed about equestrian being on freaking Oxygen, too. Assholes...) Network gets nasty letters when I have time to write them.

It's gonna be a long day.

Did I mention I don't really want to do this right now? If it just wasn't so hot... (Okay, I'd still be annoyed and tired, but I wouldn't be as worried about my kidneys.)

Anyway, I apologize for being so out of touch for so long. Kidney infections really suck, and I think I've had this one for close to a month. Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot. I was going to call the doc ages ago, before I thought I passed that stone, but things calmed down, so I figured I was clear of whatever it was. Then it started up again week before last, and I did call her.

And now need to call her again. Bleh.

Kidney infections suck.

I'll tell you this, though- those freshmen had better stay the hell out of my way, or I may not be entirely responsible for beating their ankles with my cane, not to mention all the swearing.

Well, learning new vocab words is all part of the college experience, yeah? ;)
urbandruid: (I Can Kill You With My Brain)
Okay, I'm at skip=80 on my flist, and I've been skimming, so if you posted something you want me to read, let me know here?

Sorry I've been so scarce lately, but school and life have been- well, not kicking my ass exactly, but keeping me pretty damn busy. I have a small ton of homework and I'mt rying to do too much around the house. This place is a complete disaster. I really meant to do more last week, which was spring break, but I ended up spending half of last week sleeping, or dealing with migraines and wishing I could sleep. I endd up with one sample of the good drug the doc gave me left, and one of the "OMG this is fucking with all the veins in my head ew make it stop" drugs, which I really didn't want to take. And rather than taking my last of the good drug, I dug into the stash of painkillers left over from the kidney stones of doom. And if you're wondering why I didn't just call the doc's office and ask for a script, since the samples worked, I did, but my NP was on vacation last week and the office was swamped. So I got them to cough up some more samples, and called back yesterday about the script.

Medical stuff, whee )

I fully expect that when this week is over and my stress level goes down, I'll relax my way into a migraine. That's what happened the weekend before last.

This whole week I feel like I've been going nuts, like I hit the ground running when I got out of bed on Monday morning, and I pretty much haven't stopped since. Too much to do, as usual, and the house is a wreck, like I said, which just contributes to the general feeling of chaos around here. Hence the trying to pick up stuff thing.

Which runs into the "we have too much stuff" thing, and the "we don't have enough places to put all this stuff" thing, and the "we bought new really cheap bookcases at Big Lots but haven't had time to finish putting them together" thing.

I'm telling you, the fun just never stops around here.

In the interest of 1.) cleaning out stuff and 2.) making money, I'm slowly going through all of my action figures, toys, and various other collectibles, and listing the stuff I think will sell on eBay. It's been kind of a pain, and their new fees suck, but so far I seem to be making more of a profit off my stuff than eBay is, so... It'll do for clearing at this stuff.

eBay listing and assorted rambling; feel free to skip )

I really like this whole spring cleaning thing. Actually I like the part where I can get rid of stuff I don't want (so much of it in the "oy, why did I buy this?" category) and get money for it. The part where I have to figure out the gordian knot that is the US Postal Service mailing rates is a lot less fun. I think I need to see if my uncle the software engineer/math guru can write me some kind of program to decode the rate schedule. Seriously, I think the USPS is the next ENIGMA.

And now for something completely different... Spanish class, and the fun I'm not having at school.

Okay. I like my class, as a class- not the people in it so much, but the prof's okay, the material isn't too incomprehensible, and attendance, participation, and homework count for more of our final grades than the exams, so it doesn't matter what I can't spell right or conjugate appropriatly. I have an A. Keeping it isn't too hard.

But. I swear to Gods some days I want to chuck all of my classmates out the fucking window. Case in point. I'm sitting in the hall before class this morning reading the New York Times, which they hand out for free in the library- and a couple of them ask me, "We didn't have class on Monday, did we?"

Cue me facepalming into my paper. "Yep. Oh yeah, and we had homework."

Actually, I kind of forgot to mention the homework until the class before us had left, and I'd seen our prof out in the hall, because I'm evil like that. Morons.

We have a syllabus. Included in that syllabus is a schedule for every day we have class, that says what we're doing. It also says when we don't have class. And I really thought that everybody knew spring break only runs for a week in college, no matter how much longer the public school kids get off for.

Argh. Just...argh.

And now, off to the pharmacy! whee...
urbandruid: (River)
For those of you not in receipt of a semi-stoned Druid tag tonight, I finally went to see my doc (last week? no, the week before, I think?) about my headaches, because they suck and I'm tired of them. She said probably migraines, gave me some stuff to try, call her if it works, etc.

I got 2 different drugs to try, and took one tonight when my head started hurting in that throbbing stabby sort of way. It worked, and pretty well, but the side effects are... strange.

My throat and lower jaw feel stiff and a little sore, and it kind of hurts when I swallow. Actually it kind of hurts a lot, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't keep getting thirsty, and wanting to drink a lot. Also? Am tired, and yawning, and that's unpleasent too. This side effect really sucks, though it's better than the damn migraine, no question. Will try the other drug on my next headache and see what annoys me less.

Anyway. It's pretty early for me, but I feel kind of cruddy and I have to go to class tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed very shortly.

ugh, sick.

Feb. 6th, 2007 06:53 am
urbandruid: (Default)
I'm sick. I have a cold.

And somehow, saying that doesn't remotely convey how horrid and miserable I feel. My throat is killing me, my head is all stuffed up, I ache everywhere, all I want to do is go back to bed and sleep for a week to ten days, however long it takes for this shit to go away... and i have to go to class. hang out in the library for 3 hours, go to psych, takes the bus home.

and as if that didn't suck enough, my keyboard is starting to die again.

headdesk.
urbandruid: (Constant Vigilance (lovesoldier))
Tuesday, 8:47 AM
Well, this is just fantastic. In the sense of not really. I'm writing this from school, but I'll have to post it when I get home, because, after nearly an hour of running around from the reference desk to the computer lab, to the media center where the techs hang out...

...my network card is too !@#$ing old to connect to their wireless network.Fuck. I disconnected Anna and all her accoutrements, packed her and the minimum of stuff I need for my Psych class, into her case, and hauled 10 lbs of laptop, plus said accoutrements and school shit, into the library, all around the huge reference room, down the looong hall to the computer lab, across the hall to the media center, where I sat playing with things and swearing at them for a while till the techs got in... talked to a guy who seemed to know what the problem might be, and it was one I knew how to fix, so I did that, and... he took another look and told me the bloody network card is too bloody old.

My shoulder is already killing me, and I'm going to have to haul all of this crap half a mile to the freaking bus stop, lug it onto the bus, and lug it the several blocks home.

At which point I may have time to get it plugged back in and check my email, before I have to get ready for my dentist appointment.

Because, you know, this day didn't suck enough, already.

Oh yes, and I'm sitting at the far back table in the library, with the sun in my eyes- slowly rising, so it's getting a bit easier to see what I'm doing- because the library only has plugs scattered along the walls. Why, you ask, do I need a plug, since I have a laptop? Because Gateway sucks.

No, really, I mean it. That's why. Every computer I've ever bought from them has had battery issues. The first one, the battery never charged, and they had to send me a new one as it was still under warranty. Unfortunately, by the time I figured out the new laptop, Anna II, wasn't so much better off, her warranty had expired.

I guess she's only half as bad off, technically. The battery is supposed to have "at least" a 4-hour charge. It has maybe 2 hours, probably less, and they go pretty fast. It was down to 60% or so while I was working on it while waiting for the techs to show up, and I was praying the charge would last long enough for them to help me.

*facepalms*

I honestly don't know why this surprises me. Things like this never seem to go my way, particularly when we're talking about school related stuff that involves me going out of my way to do stuff, such as carrying 10 lbs of laptop all over hell's half-acre. I don't even want to think about how much fun it's not going to be to carry this thing to the bus and home again. In a word, ugh.

Other than that- oh, and having to go for my annual checkup/torture session/cleaning at the dentist, hah- it's been a pretty good day so far. Yes, this makes me feel a lot better, too.

Seriously, though, why does this stuff never occur to me? It's not like Anna's state of the art anymore- she's from 2002, at least according to Windows. Newer than Mom's laptop, Morden, or Kosh, our ancient desktop, but that's not saying a lot. And Anna's perfectly good for what I use her for, though I think her keyboard is starting to fall apart- among other things, the space bar has issues, and that stupid SysReq key I broke a few months back is kind of hanging on by a thread... but she's a good computer- and I think I'm kind of used to thinking of her as state of the art, whether she really is or not, because she's lightyears ahead of anything else we've got in the house.

But the upshot is, she's too old, so I'm sitting here, running AdAware, typing this, and listening to the work crews doing whatever the hell they're doing outside on the quad between the library and Admissions & Records this time- though it could be the guys working on the Admissions & Records building, too. They were supposed to be done last fall, but maybe they've finally figured out that they'll be a year behind if they don't finish by the time this semester is over.

I'm really starting to think the college hands out contracts like these to the lowest IQ-score bidders.

I didn't do much more than toss some spam out of my inbox this morning, because I figured that I'd have all of this time to kill at school, and I could surf LJ and other things at my leisure. Hah! So much for that plan.

Oh well. At least this answers the question of whether I ought to trouble myself with bringing Anna to school again. (And the answer would be, not unless I have a deep burning desire to do some typing that can't wait until I get home.)

I need to do some writing for AL, among other things, but I'd kind of planned on having the prompts accessable to me. Which, for obvious reasons, I don't, because they are online and I am not. I've probably already made this more than clear, but this annoys me.

I seem to be sitting right in a draft, too. Either that, or they have the AC on. Hell, as screwed up as this place can get, nothing would surprise me anymore. Even that. At least it'll be warmer upstairs, at 11:00 when my class starts. If I can make it that far and not die of boredom, which seems rather possible right now.

I guess I could always- ooh, isn't this exciting? - copy out my Psych notes so they're a little less chickenscratch, a little more legible.

If there's a plus side to this, I'm finally learning how to use my TouchPad. Or TrackPad, or whatever the hell you call it. It's really touchy, and I don't like it much. I use a mouse at home- I brought the mouse, and if I were online I'd probably use it, but I'm too lazy to dig it out at this point. It's not like I'm really doing anything of major concequence here. Just hanging out, watching the AdAware scan crawl its way through the temporary internet files- I ought to clean those out again, I suppose- and occasionally glancing over at the guy who sat down a little bit ago at the opposite end of the table. He kind of looks like David Tennant as the 10th Doctor- or maybe it's just the clothes, which are sort of preppy, and the hair which is kind of brown. Or at least I think so. Sun's still kind of in my eyes. But, you know, it's something to talk about, at least.

9:45 AM
I've killed almost another hour playing around with this. Still annoyed. Still bored.

9:54 AM
David Tennant lookalike dude is gone. Sigh. My shoulder hurts, half from hauling the damn laptop around, and half from hunching over the damn computer so I can see what I'm doing to type this oh-so-important document. I have no Advil, ibs, or any other kind of painkiller on me. If I wanted non-asprin, I could hike way the hell over to the nurse's office, currently residing in Bungalow # something or other, also known as the village of portable classrooms way the hell and gone almost to the edge of campus.

In short, no thanks.

For some reason which I really cannot fathom, the security alarm at the entrance to the library has gone off every time I've walked through it. The last time I came back in here, the kid at the front desk looked at me, asked if i had a laptop, and when I said yes, waved me on through.

I wonder if they'll want to search the bag when I leave. They're welcome to, nothing in there but Anna, her mouse, two notebooks, a paperback (Babylon 5: The Shadow Within) my Psych syllabus, my iPod, wallet, keys, and a couple of pens. Oh, and a makeup bag with pads in it.

Anyway, they've got signs posted everywhere saying they reserve the right to search bags and/or persons- there werent' as many of these signs last semester, so they must've had some problems with book theift. People are idiots. But, you know, whatever. As long as they don't make me late for class or hurt my baby, I don't really care.

I've never had my bag searched before, so it would be a novel experience. Though I guess it'd happen if I ever took a plane anywhere. I haven't flown since way before 9/11- we're talking mid-1990's, here. One of these years I'd like to travel. You know, if we ever win the Lotto or something. We play, but we never win.

The Apprentice has a contest where you can enter to win 10,000, and I entered that last week. Didn't win, though,but I'm not surprised. I entered online, and we all know how fast Anna's dialup connection isn't.

10:02 AM
Things to do, if I a.) ever get Anna home; b.) survive the dentist; c.) ever remember that this list exists.

massivly long list )
urbandruid: (hug)
Warning: I'm too lazy to LJ-cut this. The following contains details of medical stuff you may not want to know. If so, stop reading now. Thanks. :)

Oh, my gods.

I have had the weekend from hell.

Saturday: Woke up with huge fucking pain in my side. Thought it was cramps. Turns out? Probably a kindey stone. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that at the time and I thought, screw this, my body (in person of my ankle) kept me from doing what I wanted to last weekend, so I'm going out today.

Mom had fed me some Codine earlier, left over from one of our medical problems. Can't even remember which one. So when I threw up in the bathroom at Port-of-Subs, I thought it was that.

Also, Anna (my laptop) aquired a very nasty worm. I still haven't gotten that sorted out yet.

Sunday: My birthday. Much better, or so I thought. The pain was still there, but considerably less. I ignored it, hung out at home for a bit, went out and had dinner. Stopped off to see my grandparents, came home, discovered Baskin Robbins had given us someone else's ice cream cake (sigh), watched Alias, went to bed.

Monday: Woke up at 4AM, screaming pain in my side. Also nausia was back. Threw up birthday dinner, also birthday cake. Called urgent care place. They said they opened at 8:00. Turns out the lab next to them does that, they don't open till ten. Unfortunatly, we discovered that when we were already there. Couldn't get through to my doctor's office, so we went to the hospital.

Where they hooked me up to IVs, gave me anti-nausia meds which made me very high and left me climbing up the walls, sobbing uncontrolably and telling my mother I wanted to go home. Poor Mom had been making a phone call when the drugs kicked in, so she came back and was like, "What happened while I was gone? What'd they do to you?" And I was all, "N-nothing, I just want to go hoooooome!"

Not fun.

Also got various blood tests and a urine one to rule out (I guess) a bladder infection. No such luck, it wasn't that easy. CT scan to rule out kidney stone. Which they didn't find only because I think I'd already gotten rid of it by then- the pain was much better by that point. As in, gone. The doctor said there had been blood in my urine, but that was probably just from my period. I was pretty out of it at the time, otherwise it would've occured to me to tell him that no, it wasn't from my period because they had done the urine test with a catheter. *shudder*

Anyway, the doc sent me for X-rays. X-rays were traumatic. They had me stand on this little platform, and I thought, well, okay, whatever. Then it lies back flat while I'm on it. They warned me, but still. And as if that wasn't bad enough, then they put it upright again so I could get off again. Oh yes, let me off. Let me off now.

In the end, ER got slammed and they finally saw fit to get rid of me. They sent me home with what one nurse called "a lovely parting gift" with a great deal of sarcasm. A gallon of laxative. No, seriously. A gallon. Which I was to drink all of. Just, you know, to really clear things out.

So I went home and started on that. It at least didn't taste bad, but the affects were about what you'd expect. I was very tired of it by the end of the night. And it's still not quite done yet today, which is Tuesday.

So. Here's where I stand. I missed my Soc test. My teacher will probably let me make it up when I tell her where I was, but still, this bothers me. I also missed the last section of chapter 8 and the review for the test in Algebra, which is tomorrow. So that's one problem I'm going to miss right away. And since I wasn't at school yesterday, I wasn't able to get up to disabled students to schedule a time to take my test there. Which means that when I call today to tell them when I need to do it, they are probably going to yell at me. They like more notice.

Yeah, well, I like not having a kidney stone, so stand in line.

My computer still has a virus; I'm typing this from Mom's, which is very weird. I have an essay to finish writing for Soc, an Algebra test to somehow try and study for, homework to do, two very sore kidneys (like someone kicked them), the afteraffects of my gallon of joy (I didn't drink all of it, but I did have to take most of it, damnitall), a stab mark from a failed IV in my left wrist, and the place where they finally were able to put the IV, in my right elbow.

Anyway, if anyone's been wondering where I've been and why I haven't done the stuff online that I usually do- that's why. Sorry. I'll get back into things as I can, but right now I've got to make sure I'm really okay, read up on how to avoid kidney stones in the future, and try not to flunk my classes.

Oh, and if anyone isn't too busy? I could really use a hug. Or two or ten.
urbandruid: (Quidditch!Snape)
I hit my knee getting into the shower this morning- well, I suppose it's yesterday morning now- and it's been driving me crazy since. The only time it doesn't hurt is when I've got an ice pack on it. I'm significantly less than thrilled by this. There's very little bruising, mostly soreness, pain, and swelling, which isn't good. I seem to have hit the place directly between my kneecap and lower leg bone. Lucky me.

Livejournal needs a better mood setting for this sort of thing than "sore". Sore doesn't come close to covering it.

It's funny, but I think the lj randomizer thing is strangely truthful. I can't explain it, but there's some sense in the nonsense. Try it out. :)

For all zero people who care, the Gap fic is coming along, and it's spawning little ficlets on the side. Apparently now that I've opened the door, every character I have even the slightest liking for wants to have his or her say. And here I was thinking I'd be able to sit down and hammer out the next chapter of Standing Stones this week. But no, half the 'Gap' cast is whispering in my ear, saying, "Pair us up, you know you want to! Look, subtext!"

Useless Fic. TM, patent pending.

If I'm going to write crap nobody is ever going to read, it might as well be original stuff that I have a slim chance of maybe getting paid for. I know this; I do. But the novels in progress are all going to require extensive editing before I can get back to working on them, and I'm just not up for that. Plus they're all suffering from having no plot outlines, as I haven't touched them since way before I started outlining anything.

My Harry Potter fics have better plots because I've actually paused to think about what I'm doing with them. I used to hate outlines, but with "Standing Stones", I didn't have much choice; there was so much going on that I had to start writing it down, just so I could keep it straight in my head. And from there it progressed to writing outlines. More like lists of events in the story, with some notation to mark what I've written up to, but anyway.

I'm trying not to stress, to just...go with the flow. Not worry for a while. It's silly and time-wasting, but if what I really feel like doing is writing weird fanfiction between bouts of icing the knee, than that's what I'm going to do. No matter how stupid it seems.

I'm using randomized stuff from my own LJ for titles for a while; I'm lazy, and some of them are strangley fitting.

Okay. One more round of ice for the knee, and then I'm going to bed.
urbandruid: (never fuck with a slytherin)
Damn Livejournal. It ate my long-winded bitching post about stupid plumbing problems and the hells of apartment living.

Yes. I don't feel like typing it all up again now, so, the short story- I broke the faucet in my shower a couple days ago, or at least the knob that turns it on. Now have to use Mom's shower till the handyman can get over here, which may be a bit as he's broken his ankle and we live upstairs.

Hit my head on the side of Mom's shower this afternoon, in addition to almost being blinded by the water- her showerhead sucks, the water comes out in really hard streams, and it's not fun...

Blech. First attempt at bitching was way better.

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