urbandruid: (Winchester College Fund)
Jeeze, LJ got messed up since the last time I bothered posting anything. Anyway...

Yes, I'm still alive. It's just that life has been crazily busy lately. It's also sucked a hell of a lot.

I have finals this week. I don't want to have finals this week. Actually, I don't want to have finals ever, but that's a whole 'nother story, I guess. I'm only really worried about one final, and of course it's today.

I guess I'll be glad when it's over.

I just can't help thinking how hanging out with my cat always helped me de-stress this time of year. I miss my kitty.

Somedays it feels like it's getting easier. Other days... not so much.
urbandruid: (Constant Vigilance (lovesoldier))
Dear Disabling Students,

Do you think it would be too much trouble for you to send my last Stats exam before the final BACK to my teacher? Because right now I have a big fat zero for a test I probably aced, it's bringing my grade down when it just went UP, and I'm FURIOUS.

I've spent most of the day having panic attacks, freaking out, and curled up in my chair sobbing, but I'm really over that, and now I'm just PISSED. I know it's the end of the semester and you're busy, and I DON'T CARE. I need to know what I got on this test so I know what my grade is going into the final; I expect it to go up and I'd planned on doing some celebrating this weekend, but nooo, you have to get all stupid and lackadaisical about everything as usual, just when I most need you to actually DO YOUR JOBS.

It's actually really easy. I took the test. I saw you put it in the envelope. Now put the envelope in the prof's mailbox so he can POST MY FREAKING GRADE.

I'll be back on campus on Tuesday to take my Stats final. I'll also be seeing you charming people. So you might want to have it fixed by then. Just sayin'.

No love,
Me.
urbandruid: (River)
I've been shaking out the couch cushions since I found out I didn't get the scholarship, trying to find the money to go to London in the spring. The program application was due last Friday, so I got that in, and waited for them to call me in for my interview.

Tuesday was my Spanish final, and while I was waiting for my ride home I checked my messages. Got one from the nice lady at the district office. Unfortunately not about the interview. They didn't have enough people apply to the program, so they had to cancel it.

I'm bummed out, disappointed, and trying not to get depressed. I kept it together through Wednesday, which was my last final, but yesterday it really started to hit me that I'm not going. Nobody from here is going.

In other news, Mom has bronchitis, Sam still hates the new kitten and is making her displeasure felt by hissing and yowling when she passes the room he's in, and leaving little presents for me in the middle of my bathroom (aka crapping on the floor.)

I'm beyond ready for this year to be over. For lack of anything better to do, and badly needing distractions, I'm spending most of my time reading and playing LEGO Star Wars: the Complete Saga, on my Playstation, which I can't recommend enough even if I am stuck on the next to the last level of Revenge of the Sith.

I'd really like to get some writing done sometime, but my brain just isn't in gear right now. I think I strained it a little too much with the finals. And the huge bundle of fun and stress that has been this semester in general.
urbandruid: (Jaina / Pen Is Mightier)
Wednesday. Last final, thank Gods.

Yesterday was my Abnormal Psych final, which was cumulative, but not nearly as horrid as it could've been. I think I finally learned the difference between somataform and psychosomatic, at least enough for the final (I still don't quite get why conversion is somataform, not psychosomatic, but whatever) and a few other things that were bugging me, but the best part is, it's done!

My Geo lab final was last week, and I got a 46 out of 50, which my professor told me was one of the highest grades in my class. (Considering some of my classmates, I'm really not all that surprised.)

And today *cue dramatic music* is the Geo final. Which is not comprehensive, thank Gods, but still could be less than fun. I've got a tough teacher.

But I've studied my ass off, can now tell you anything you never wanted to know about glaciers, deserts, shorelines, groundwater usage, or energy resouces and global warming. (We are SO screwed!) Oh, and all about the half dozen or so cool videos we saw in class since our last exam.

I'll be glad when it's over.

And it's supposed to be 92 today. It was 92 yesterday, too, and horrid. Earlier they said it'd only be 90 today, but apparently they revised the forecast. Bastards...

Have sunscreen- and cane, will travel. Wish me luck! :)
urbandruid: (Spork! (xinsanity))
My History of the British Isles final is in an hour. I'm going in early, to another one of my teacher's class sessions, instead of waiting till my own section's final at noon because a.) she is nice and will let us do this and b.) I don't want to be out and about, waiting at bus stops and/or walking home from them in the afternoon, when it is going to be 97.

It's 7 AM, and it's already muggy. I hate, despise, and loathe the summer weather in this town. Always have.

That's okay, though. We're buying a BIG ceiling fan for the living room this weekend. Maybe ones for the bedrooms too, if we can find a good deal. (Sam's room can wait, because we broke down and bought her one of those automatic filtered air freshner thingys for her litterbox, which needs it. BAD.)

I can't believe I'm practically done with school. All I have to do is take the final, sell back my books (I'd keep them, but they're a.) deadly boring and b.) ALL about politics, in a not very interesting sort of way) catch the bus home, and I'm FREE.

So many weeks of freedom, to hang out, do as I please, watch DVDs, and write mountains of fic.

Be afraid.

...Ugh. It's a bad sign when it's too hot for a t-shirt at 7AM, yes? I was afraid this would happen... I was worried (hahahaha) about being cold this morning, which is why I picked the t-shirt, but I don't think that's gonna be a problem now.

Anyway, wish me luck. I had a nightmare last night that I turned in my test and got halfway out of the building before I realized I forgot to do the essay question. So. Not. Funny.
urbandruid: (gold dust: then we'll understand)
*huge sigh of relief*

I did it. I survived finals.

Poli Sci was easy to moderate. There were a few questions where I just went, "WTF? Okay... guess." Mostly it was alright, though.

And Computers! Hah! That was supposed to be hard? *yawn* Riiight.

But the highlight of my day- the best- was going downstairs to my Algebra teacher's office, checking the posted grades...

Guess who got a C in Algebra?!? I know, I know, a C, but come on, math is hard for me. And I survived it with a passing grade.

And now I'd like to sleep for a year.

No, really though, I'm wasting time now in all kinds of fun ways. [livejournal.com profile] theatrical_muse is amusing the hell out of me right now. We have God, Satan, obscure fandoms (the guy from Hellraiser? I think it's Hellraiser. Anyway) and...well, there's me, too. [livejournal.com profile] shadow_anna (Anna Sheridan, B5) and [livejournal.com profile] irina_derevko. (From Alias. Yeah.) I know- my Jack is much better than my Irina, which is why I'm doing Irina. If I can figure out how she'd react to God and friends, I can probably write all of the strange ideas floating around my head right now.

So, anyway, you guys should join. The roleplaying is a riot, and the writing is excellent. It's going to be a good little (well, not so little, really) ficlet community. Right now we're all introducing ourselves and going a bit nuts. It's fun, though, and lots of fandoms need some filling in.

Alias, for example, has exactly two characters I know of. My Irina, and Will Tippin. Sydney? Jack? Sloane?

Now there's an idea... hey, [livejournal.com profile] dagnylilytable, you could be Crazy Uncle Arvin. Could be good times. :)
urbandruid: (gold dust: I was here)
If anyone happens to be missing a sledgehammer, it's taken up residence in my head and is trying to pound its way free. I'll be happy to return it when it's done.

I'd also be happy to return it sooner.

Head has been killing me all weekend; I take tylenol or whatever, and it only takes the edge off it for a little while, and then I'm right back where I started again. Except I can't take anything else for a few more hours.

Algebra final is at 7:00; I'm leaving here at 6:30 to be sure I make it on time.

It turns out to be just as well Alias was a rerun last night. The cable crapped out while I was watching the Survivor finale and getting in the last bit of my studying. *scowl, mutter, curse* So Mom calls the cable company, who basically doesn't care. They have a monoploy in town, so they don't really give a damn how they treat us. They need three people to call in to have it be reported as an "official outage", and we were only the second. And no, we couldn't call back for the third call. "Just go ask one of your neighbors", says the woman on the phone. Right. At 9:00 on a Sunday I'm supposed to go bother my neighbors because the damned cable company has a stick up its-? Anyway.

They said they could give us an all-day appointment for today, meaning they could show up whenever the hell they wanted to, to "fix our problem". Lady, it's not my problem, first, and second, uh...no.

So, does anyone know who won Survivor?

Okay. I am not going to have hysterics over my Algebra final. I'm not. I studied, I studied really hard, I still have formulas dancing around my brain (and the song my teacher taught us for the quadratic formula is stuck in my head, but right now this is a good thing)... I will be fine.

And then I'll come home, get to relax for most of the day, and then I get to dash out to my eye doctor's appointment. Which will also be fine, or so I really, really desperatly hope.

I'm scared about everything, of course, but I'm going to be okay. It's all going to be fine, one way or another.

And I'm not sure if it's that I really believe this, or that I hope by saying it enough I will be able to make it true. But at this point I've done all I can, and I just have to accept that.

It's all over but the major suffering, now.

I can do this. I can.
urbandruid: (jaina trickster)
I'm exhausted and cold, and I have way too much to do.

The Algebra final is tomorrow, and I'm starting to think that I might make it yet. That maybe I can pass the thing. I finally figured out what grade I need to get on the final to at least keep my C (which is a high C, not a midrange one, after all), and I've been sitting with my nose in the textbook most of the weekend now.

I haven't watched the news or picked up a paper in days, so the first I heard of Saddam's capture was when I skimmed my friends list this morning. I still think the Iraq thing ("oh, it's not a war anymore"...riiight) and the so-called 'War on Terror' are horrible ideas, but, go team, go.

Why, though, couldn't they simply have shot him? Much better for everyone in the long run.

So Friday I made the mistake of telling Grandma I'd scan a picture for her to send the Ohio paper for great-grandpa's obituary (he moved here from there), and of course that first picture didn't work out. I don't quite understand why it didn't work out, but I was trying to take a quick nap when she came over with the second picture. Mom told her I was asleep, but she has to come in shouting and talking so damned loudly that she woke me up.

I think finals were different when Grandma was in college.

Sometimes I hate my family. I mean, first it was the one picture, and she called us five minutes after we got home Friday night- could I scan it now, because she really needs it? All I wanted to do was go to bed, but I scanned the damned picture, and resized it and everything, and sent it off. And then it doesn't work.

Argh!

Oh well. Other news, a bit more fun. [livejournal.com profile] starkiller sent me an email about [livejournal.com profile] theatrical_muse, which looks very cool. I'm going to be playing Anna Sheridan, my favorite semi-obscure Babylon 5 character. Gives me something to look forward to in case I do manage to survive finals. :)
urbandruid: (gold dust: we make it up...)
I'm screwed.

I am so, so screwed.

I have a midrange C in my Algebra class, but I can't even work the numbers well enough to figure out what grade I need to get on the final in order to pass the class. And yeah, I'll study this weekend- I'll study so much that I'll see numbers when I close my eyes, and dream of formulas, but I don't know if it's going to do any good. And not knowing how well I have to do- makes it that much harder. I just keep staring at the grade report, scrawling numbers in the margins, trying to make it make some kind of sense. But earlier today I worked out that I could get 100% on the final and flunk the class. That's not possible.

I've always had this problem with math tests, you know? Like I can do almost anything for a homework assignment, but don't test me on it, because I'll freeze up, everything I thought I knew will go out of my head- or it won't, and somehow I'll still manage to screw it up.

*sigh*

And we have this thing with my grandparents tonight, and Mom and I are still waiting for Grandma to fall apart about Great-grandpa dying, and... Would it be too much to ask for just one lousey thing to go right?

You know what I'd like? I'd like to fall asleep and wake up next Thursday. Night. After all my finals and both my doctors' appointments. That's what I'd like.

Edit: And, oh yeah, if anyone cares; I have a B in Poli Sci and an A in Computer Literacy. Yay me. At least I don't suck at everything.
urbandruid: (gold dust: see in the dark)
Last day of class. I think maybe I'd be happier about it if I wasn't so exhasuted.

And it's not going to get any easier, because next week the fun really starts. Add in a light dusting of family stuff, and, well... Check, please?

So. The schedule for finals and stuff, which LJ ate yesterday:

Friday, 10/12 - last day of classes; review in Algebra & Poli Sci
Tonight - dinner (probably takeout) and tree-trimming at Grandma's
Saturday 10/13 - Library books due; study like mad
Sunday 10/14 - Study like mad for Algebra final; ignore TV since Alias is a rerun anyway

Moneday 10/15
7:00 AM-9:00AM - Algebra final
Noonish - the family goes down to the funeral home to wait while they cremate great-grandpa; I'm skipping it
3:00 - Appointment with Dr. R, my glaucoma specialist

Tuesday 10/16
Study

Wednesday 10/17
10:00-11:50 AM - Poli Sci final
12:00-1:40 - Computers final
RETURN OF THE KING (I'm probably not going till the weekend)

Thursday 10/18
4:45 - doctor's appointment

bizarre potentially gross medical crap )

As for great-grandpa, well, Mom and I were talking the other night, and we realized he was the first person in the family who wanted to be cremated. In other words, nobody knows what the hell to do now. I mean, it's all well and good for him to want to be cremated, but he could at least have left us some suggestions of what to do with him afterwards! As it is I'm afraid he'll be on the mantle at Grandma's house until her brother comes out for Christmas.

Oh yeah, it's going to be a really...interesting holdiay season. Friends? Can I come to your house?

Edit: And you'd think I would know the damned cut tag by now, but I don't.
urbandruid: (Default)
It's over, and I am too drained to really celebrate. I'm too tired, in fact, to do much of anything at all.

I put together lists in my head of things I'm not doing and should be, and suddenly I find myself making link graphics for my Obscure Character Obsession (aka the Marilyn Stark fanlisting). Which I don't know if another soul in all the world will even join, once it's up and running. But what the hell, right? I'm on vacation.

I'm almost tempted to spend half of tomorrow getting more screencaps; never mind the hundred and fifty or so I have now. I'm still weeding the crap out of those.

I guess I'm a little bit crazy. I'd say it's due to being on vacation, but I think I was like this before, too. :)
urbandruid: (me)
What was it I said about not trying to update this thing when I was on my way to somewhere else? Anyway...

I spent half of yesterday panicing for nothing.

There is no way I can flunk Biology.

I have a C now, and he drops the lowest test grade. Right now that's the exam we had right after spring break, which I told my idiot classmates they didn't want to vote for, and which nobody listened to me about. If I bomb the final, then that's the grade he drops, and it stays a C. If I do well, it replaces the final, and I have a shot at a B.

I'm a perfectionist, and I know it. A C is okay, but I want the B. And I think I have a chance to get it.

Either way, though...it's almost over.

And I am not stressing. I'm through stressing. What happens, happens.

I'll be glad when it's over, though.

It's been a strange morning. I had a dream in which Gil Grissom from CSI was my uncle, and I have no idea where that was going because my alarm woke me up, but it's all still very clear in my head.

And I either killed the fly that's been pestering me all week, or dreamed that I did. I can't remember which.

Well...I'm off.
urbandruid: (anna)
I have one final left to go, a history book I bought used that cost me way too much, which the bookstore will give me only a pittance for should I sell it back to them. I have a ton of stuff that needs to go into the mail, every symptom ever brought on by stress in spades, approval for the official Anna Sheridan fanlisting, and a new friend.

Everybody say hello to [livejournal.com profile] benjiesque. This is Lindsay's ex, Will, who mocked my Victor Garber obsession. I am greatly amused by this for some reason, but should I feel honored or afraid? ;)

My history prof shook hands with all of us when we turned in our finals, and said he hoped to see us in other classes next semester.

You must be joking. What was that you got the others to parrot back at you when we were covering the Cold War, professor? Nyet!

And I drag my feet, because I don't want to go off and bury my nose in biology from now until dawn tomorrow, never mind that this is what I really need to do.

At least it's almost over. Or so I keep telling myself, anyway.
urbandruid: (me)
Tomorrow it starts. I have my history final at 11:00 AM, and I am really, really not looking forward to it. Studying for this thing has been a nightmare- looking up little facets of stupid non-events that the asshole of a professor thinks are important. They aren't, really, but nobody asked me what I thought. Probably just as well- I might tell them.

I'll be glad when tomorrow's over. At least then I'll be halfway done.

How can two finals seem like so much?
urbandruid: (cray)
Could someone please explain to me how I'm supposed to study for finals when I have three major tests the week before them, aka this week? Supergirl I am not.

I feel like I hardly have time to think or even sleep, and being me, I have my priorities lined up as well as always. I just want to write. Is that so much to ask?

And I whine really well, too.

Gods, but I wish it was all already over.
urbandruid: (cray)
Anybody who knows me may have heard this about a million times before, but I've got to say it anyway. Life is fucking nuts. It just is.

Less than a week till my birthday, a month left of school. I have a math test on Tuesday, a bio lab test on the 13th or so, a lab practical on the 21st, and then finals week: history essay test and cumulative biology final.

My best friends are moving to Arizona on the 8th of June, and I am determined to throw them a party before they go.

Oh yes, and there's a Cam/Anarch LARP on my birthday; I haven't decided if I'm going or not. Probably should, since there won't be too many more games with everybody there, but... last game I went to, not enough people came, and we ended up sitting around talking all night. (Okay, I talked to Jonni and listened to Will & Michael plot Tremere crap, but anyway). And I don't mind that, but I don't want to just sit and talk on my birthday.

Hmm. To tell them it's my birthday, or not. I told Jonni once, but that was a while ago and she may not remember.

I have piles of math homework I should be doing, Urbandruid.net to finish up by the 2nd (ack!) and a letter to Lindsay I'd like to finish writing and mail off.

And to top it off, I have big news I'm debating about how to distribute. Seems silly to wait until I've emailed or called everybody to talk about it, and yet... I don't know.

New icon from the picture I use to represent one of my RPG characters, Cray Knight in the Star Wars Galaxy. It's a really old peice of Mara Jade fanart which I did not draw; downloaded it in about '97 or so.

Oh yes. And I got a D+ on my last Bio exam. Dropped my grade to a C. I don't want to talk about the D.

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